One more day of holiday gluttony

Some days I've been a total glutton.  Others, I've eaten normally but almost no days in the last 10 days have I dieted.  I'm still going to the gym - just not bothering to keep score on calories.  It's the holidays for goodness sake.  I figured a little break was due and good motivation to keep it going come Tuesday.

So to one more day of crackers & cheese, pigs in blankets, and a myriad of cakes, pies, puddings, and custards - Cheers!

Last Week

Can we all agree not to talk about it?

Went to the doc

My blood work from 4 years ago wasn't as horrific as I remembered it.  It's sitting on my desk at work right now, but the biggest issues were triglycerides, high LDL and low HDL cholesterols.  Exercise and diet should clear that up.  We'll see once the results from the latest blood work comes in.

When the doc reviewed with me last time, I thought he said that I was prediabetic, but he must have said that my soft round middle was getting me close to it.  My glucose numbers were at the upper end of normal, but it wasn't bad.  Anyway, this time they ordered up the super-glucose test.  It should be fine.

In terms of immediate feedback, my blood pressure was good.  120/70.  I was also told to just keep doing what I'm doing and not to concern myself with "carb cycling," but also that there wasn't any harm in distributing more of my calories to protein.  I was told not to concern myself with BMI or specific body fat percentages.  Just choose whole grains over refined grains, monitor your calorie consumption, etc.  Everything I already knew.  Overall, it just confirmed that I'm losing at a healthy rate doing the right things to progress and maintain once I reach my goal.

Stuff Fat Guys Can't Do #4 - Go to the doctor

I was a wee lad when my pediatrician told my mother that I was obese.  She cried.  It wasn't a surprise.  I was already spending my life in husky pants from JCPenney.  Nonetheless, the word obese strikes a chord with people.  It's one thing to be overweight, heavy, stout, chubby, or fat.  It's a-whole-nother thing to be obese.  Obese is unable to walk.  Obese is a mark of shame.  It's worse than being called a name.  It's a death sentence.

And there I was at 8 years old or so staring at the glossy handout the doctor gave us.  It had hand drawn pictures of food with avoid-good-better-best categories.  About the only thing I really learned from it is that doctors call donuts sweetbreads.  Little did I know that sweetbreads were actually something entirely different.  I didn't learn fitness.  I didn't learn healthy eating; only that doctors say that donuts are bad.  Fuck 'em.  Donuts ARE good!

Those experiences at the kid doc set the tone for my relationship with doctors for the rest of my life.  I've gone to great lengths to avoid going to the doctor.  I don't want him or her to call me obese.  I just don't want to hear the words again.  And it is (was?) getting worse.  Ever since I settled into my 30's, the doctor wants to draw blood and point out "trivial" things like high triglycerides, LDL-this, HDL-that, elevated blood pressure, and glucose readings that indicate that I'm abusing my pancreas.

I'm afflicted with debilitating seasonal allergies.  For the last 4 years I've avoided going to the doctor for allergy meds.  Instead I'll go to the CVS Minute Clinic where a nurse practitioner basically has me fill out a questionaire and writes a 'scrip for a modern antihistamine laced with speed.  It works for me.  But the ghost that haunts me is that blood work.  I don't go to the doctor because I don't want to know how much worse it's gotten.  I'm the child who hasn't studied and plays sick on the day of the test.

Well, I've done some cramming these past three months and tomorrow is my make-up exam.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't* terrified.  Here's to hoping that my numbers have improved since 4 years ago.  It's a shame that my fear kept me from establishing a baseline when I started this quest 3-4 months ago.



* weren't?  Subjunctive conjugation is sorely lacking in colloquial American English and I'm unsure if I did it correctly.  For the uninitiated:
Incorrect: "If I was smarter, I'd understand this."
Correct: "If I were smarter, I'd understand this."

Will I be able to do it today?

Today's my 36th birthday.  I didn't quite make my mini-goal that I set a few weeks ago, but I'm within a couple pounds.  In just over 3 months I'm only 2 pounds off my target rate of losing 2 pounds per week.  With my daughter's birthday, Thanksgiving, and a couple of business trips during that time, I'm calling it a win.  Still, I can't help but be mildly disappointed that I didn't hit the mini-goal.  I just remind myself that it's been 4 weeks and 8 pounds have been shed since I set the goal.  That should be good enough.

Onward.  So today is going to be challenging.  I've tried to set some realistic expectations for the day:

1. Today is a personal training day, so we did strength training.  I'm not doing cardio on my birthday if I can avoid it.  Plus I've done cardio for 13 days in a row.  I need a break.
2. I'm going to eat some junk food - White Castle & Birthday Cake.  It's gonna happen.  Oh, and burritos and wings for dinner.
3. I can still do this and come in "under budget"

Lunch: 420 Hamburger, Single, White Castle 3 Each 420 Dinner: 1127 Cake, Yellow, Vanilla Frosted 1 1/2 Pieces 358 Any'tizers, Chicken Wings, Buffalo Style, Hot 3 Pieces 230 Guacamole, Spicy 1/8 Cup 54 Pork, Shoulder, Shldr 6 Ounces 210 Salad, Baja 1/2 Each 275

Can I really stop myself at 3 White Castles?  That's my biggest challenge.  If I fail to do this, I figure I can eat 6 of them and then just get some cardio in late tonight.  The other problem is eating only 1/2 my dinner, but I think I can pull that off.

3 months, 25 pounds

Winner, Winner. Chicken Dinner.

Just did a quick breakdown...

And the more interesting bit for me was the cost per 100 grams of protein...

This is going to be harder than I thought

It turns out the Muscle Milk probably isn't one of the better protein powders out there.  There are a lot of calories that come along for the ride that aren't from protein.  Yesterday I decided to make it a goal to reach certain protein intake and that's proving very difficult and very expensive.  First I'm going to tackle the difficult part, then later, the expense.  But yesterday was a diet disaster.  I blew past my calorie target because I was lacking self-control.  I lost that control because I was obsessing over how to get these nutrient ratios and calorie restrictions reconciled.  I wound up eating what my kids left on their plates and that pushed me well over the edge.  I was going to "fix" it by going to the gym, but I was physically exhausted and my wife didn't get home from work until after 10:30pm.  Oh well.  It's just one day.

So today we don't have a plan for dinner; well, at least not one that's reasonable for a diet.  My wife is going to get subs from Primo Hoagies, and there's just no way I can make that work.  They make huge subs loaded with stuff - and they're really expensive.  I'll be damned if I'm going to just order a plain turkey sub and pay $15 for it.  It'll be egg whites for me tonight and then off to the gym after that.

I've got 2 hours of exercise planned for the night because I'm having trouble reaching my protein target without doing that.  I can't do it every day so that's where the "difficult" part comes in.  I have to model some meal plans to see where I can accomplish my goals given a set of restrictions.

Restrictions:

• Eat what's prepared at home for dinner - no watching everyone else eat a healthy meal while I drink my dinner out of blender bottle
• Eat breakfast everyday
• Eat an ice cream sandwich everyday
• Eat a "dry" hoagie from the restaurant in my office's lobby every work day (the cost is subsidized... can't beat a turkey sub for $2.50.)

Protein Failure, Meal & Fitness Plan #1 - 

• Breakfast
• 1 cup oatmeal
• 1 Tbsp Peanut Butter
• 400 calories
• Strength/Resistance Training
• 1 hour
• -250 calories
• Snack #1
• 2 scoops protein powder
• 310 calories
• Lunch
• Turkey hoagie, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, Hot Sauce
• 530 calories
• Snack #2
• 2 scoops protein powder
• 310 calories
• Dinner
• Mix & Match Baked Pasta (just a recipe I pulled from my DB that might be something like my wife would make for dinner)
• 482 calories
• Snack #3
• Ice Cream Sandwich
• 1 scoop protein powder
• 265 calories

So that gets me to a net calorie intake of 2047 - slightly above my daily target; but only 162 grams of protein.  I can't get rid of dinner.  I have to accept that I have little control over what's made, that what's made will probably be "healthy", and that I must eat it so that my wife has a reason to cook and my kids see a positive example of healthy eating.  I suppose one way I can improve here is to work with my wife to pick protein rich dinners.  That's not going to be easy, but I'll have to do it.  Let's assume that I can reduce my serving of the typical dinner to 1/2, and add in 10 ounces of boneless, skinless chicken breast (250kcal, 57.5g protein).

Improvement number 2 is going to be to cut the oatmeal down to the suggested serving of 1/2 cup, remove the peanut butter, and add 2 scoops of protein to my breakfast.  That still doesn't get me all the way there on the protein, and my net calories have risen to 2,120 - more than 100 over my daily target.

So let's scratch the extra protein shake at breakfast and instead eat 2 cups of raw egg whites.  2063kcal / 253g.  Almost there.

I suppose I'll have to give up the ice cream sandwich.  1953 / 250g.  Target aquired on calories, still need protein.

+ 2 cups of egg whites for snack #3.  Back over on calories, but cleared the protein.

-1 scoop of powder.  Still about 100 calories over, protein still achieved.

There's really only one option left that I can see.  Add 15 minutes of cardio in at the end of my lifting workout.  That'd get me the 100-200 calories of "credit" that I needed.

Revised meal plan:

• Breakfast
• 2 cups egg whites
• 1/2 cup oatmeal
• 400 calories
• Workout
• Strength/Resistance Training
• 1 hour
• -250 calories
• Elliptical
• 15 minutes
• -150 calories
• Snack #1
• 2 scoops protein powder
• 310 calories
• Lunch
• Turkey hoagie, Lettuce, Tomato, Onion, Hot Sauce
• 530 calories
• Snack #2
• 2 scoops protein powder
• 310 calories
• Dinner
• 1/2 serving of Mix & Match Baked Pasta (just a recipe I pulled from my DB that might be something like my wife would make for dinner)
• 10 ounces of chicken
• 491 calories
• Snack #3
• 2 cups egg whites
• 253 calories
• TOTAL: 2300 kcal (1900 net kcal) / 287g protein

That gives me a workable guideline for a typical strength training day.  I'll seek out better sources of whey protein too.  I know the cheap stuff at Walmart gives 52g per 280kcal vs. 32/310 for Muscle Milk.  I think I can live with this.

Why am I not gaining muscle mass?

Natalie, this one's for you.

Is there anything more discouraging than being criticized?  I love criticizing people, but I hate being critiqued. And so it's been with my nutrition.  I'm smug and I "know" that I know better.  I told my trainer as much when she first started reviewing my food logs.  I said, "Look, it's the calories.  That's how you lose weight."  That's still true.  But then I said, "If what you're saying [about protein requirements] is true, I'm going to have to learn the hard way."  And I have am.

Let's consider some numbers:

1. 34% body fat - that's where I started
2. 32% body fat - 6 weeks in
3. 31% body fat - 12 weeks in

Looks like good results to me, but it's not telling the whole story.  In that time I've lost 20-25 pounds, of which 5 pounds are lean mass.  No, not muscle put on, but muscle lost.  How can that be when I've been diligent in my training?  The answer may be protein, but I don't expect you to accept that at face value.

The USDA recommends that people get 0.8g of protein for every kilogram of the person's mass.  So, when I tipped in at 285 pounds, that's 129.5kg.  That means I'd need 104 grams of protein a day just to maintain my then-current body composition.  The protein is used to replace nails, skin, hair, organ & muscle cell replacement, etc.  It's not for building additional muscle.

So how much protein does one need to build additional muscle?  ExRx.net says that endurance atheletes need 1.37g/kg*day, and that 2.2g/kg*day was "barely sufficient" during moderate intensity weight training with needs increasing proportionally to training intensity.  2.0g to 2.6g "are required for periods of very intense weight training".  I'm not clear on how those periods are defined, but I'm assuming it means the training period and not just the days that one lifts.

I figured the right number for me is probably 2.4g/kg*day.  Doing that alone is a piece of cake (or maybe I should've said steak).  Doing that while losing weight?  Ridiculously difficult.  Here's why:

To lose two pounds per week, I need a 1000 calorie daily deficit.  Currently, that gives me about 2000 calories to work with each day.  With protein's energy value of 4 kcal per gram and a current need of 284g, I've got a daily sunk cost of 1136 calories.  And that's if I had some magic source of pure protein.

Just one unrealistic ways to get to 284 grams of protein: Eat just a hair over 3 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breast.

That'd give me 1240 calories, leaving me a scant 700 or so for anything else.  I could toss in a bowl of oatmeal in the morning.  300 calories, 40 of which come from protein (allowing me to save a bit on the bird).  Maybe I could make a sandwich with some of that chicken for lunch.  After I try fitting a pound of chicken on two slices of bread, I'd be adding another 200 calories for that.  Repeat for dinner, add in some low calorie vegetables and my day is complete.

Alternately, I could use other sources of lean protein, protein powders, or even not-so-lean protein.  I just have to account for the additional fat & carbs found in any of the possible choices.

But man cannot live on protein alone.  You need carbohydrates and fat for energy (among other things).  In fact, if you're not getting enough carbs, your body is going to break down those proteins into glucose so you can keep on living.  And that defeats the purpose of getting all that protein to begin with.  There's got to be a way to make this work.  The key is exercise, but not just any exercise...

You need to do your weight training to tear and stimulate the muscle.  You need protein to repair and build the muscle.  And you need cardio to burn some calories, which will come from the fat you've conveniently got stored away.  To burn that fat, you need to start the fire with some carbohydrate kindling.  You take the calorie credit for the exercise you are doing and you feed yourself the energy sources based on that.

Rough numbers: 2000 sedentary calorie budget - 1200 for protein + 700 for 60 minutes of daily cardio = 1500 calories of fat and carbs.

This is what I'm doing at least for the next 6 weeks, holidays be damned.  I'll make a new post when the time comes to share my results.

Oh, and how have I been doing with my protein thus far?  I made a chart for that!  Negative numbers mean that I'm below target.  If my analysis above is correct, the answer to the titular question is obvious.  It just took me some time to realize it.

Calling my shot

Tomorrow I shall weigh-in with a new lowest low.  I can just feel it.

Stuff Fat Guys Can't Do #3 - Breathe

Inhale.  Exhale.  Repeat.  Most people rightfully take this for granted.  Not fat guys.  The heavier I am, the more conscious I am of my breathing.  I first noticed it... err... was first made aware of it by a young woman who lived on the same floor as me at my first college dorm.  A handful of newly-acquainted residents and I were somewhere crowded (party? small concert?  I dunno...) when Milena turned to me and requested that I stop breathing on her neck.  I was just standing there, the same as everyone else.  I didn't think I was breathing heavy - truthfully, I'm still not sure that I was - but I must have been releasing a jet stream of warm carbon dioxide directly onto her hairy neck.  I became very self-conscious and the harder I attempted to breathe more softly, the harder I started to breathe.  It's ingrained in my brain forever.  In any close quarters - elevators, concerts, the stretching room in The Haunted Mansion - I hold my breath as long as possible. If I need to exhale, I deflect it into my hand like I've just finished off a bag of Funyuns before a date.

Heavy breathing is fine when you're doing something where exertion is to be expected.  Run any distance and huffing-and-puffing is ok.  Picking up the keys you dropped, not so much.  Not-so-fat people just breathe.  Their heart rate doesn't skyrocket just by carrying in the mail.  But the tubbier among us know that doing anything can make you breathe heavier, and people are listening.  They can hear you breathe, and if you stand too close, they can feel it too.

If breathing when awake weren't tough enough, consider what happens when the porkers among us breathe at night - or rather don't breathe.  Sleep apnea.  It started with my wife complaining nightly that I snored.  I blamed it on my seasonal allergies.  That wasn't just an excuse at first.  I legitimately get really congested from April-June and again for a shorter time in the fall.  But my snoring was continuing past the allergy season.  I was snoring every night.

My own snoring would start to wake me because my snoring wasn't really snoring at all; it was apnea.  I'd wake up gasping for air.  I'd lie awake scared absolutely shitless that I was about to die.  I'd worry myself to the point of insomnia.  So I'd head downstairs and eat my worries away.  Nothing like a full belly with lots of milk and carbs to lull me back into a quasi-coma.

Once I fell back asleep it would happen again - only this time my mouth would be filled with vomit because all the food I ate sat in my belly, churned in my stomach acid and stressed open my esophageal sphincter.  The apnea would cause my insides to convulse and I'd be greeted with a cottage cheese-laden mouthful of vomit.  Ain't nothin' pleasant about choking and then not being able to breathe until you can bolt to the toilet to spew out your shame.

I think I'm out of the woods now with any serious sleep apnea, but if you see me tight-lipped and turning red in close quarters, encourage me to exhale.  I promise I wasn't eating Funyuns.

Losin' It!

I was kidding yesterday when I said that I wanted to poop out 5 pounds, but somehow the scale "caught up" this morning.  I'm down 4 more pounds and back on track!  I didn't take any drastic steps, despite threatening to do so in earlier posts.  I just stuck to my calorie budget and exercised enough so that I could eat without feeling like I was depriving myself.  Yesterday I ate over 3000 calories (but put 2 hours in at the gym.  1 lifting, 1 cardio).

Just ordered a new scale

Because clearly the problem is with the other 4 scales I have access to.

That's f***ing horses***

1 pound.  F. U.

I better poop out 5 pounds today.

An ugly week forthcoming

I'm probably going to not be pleasant come Wednesday.  I'm cutting additional calories from my diet this week - beyond the 2 pound/week rate.  I need to kick my own ass a bit more here.  It's been a few weeks of little inconsistent losses.  I'd like to see some dramatic results on the scale just to get back on target.  I still think that tomorrow when I weigh-in I should be at or around my loss target.