I have to fly next week. I'm stuck with a middle seat. Hopefully Barbara Billingsley* has the aisle. The seats on airplanes are notoriously small. I can fit between the armrests, but when I'm in the middle, I occupy both of them. It's not pleasant for anyone involved. If I kept going along my previous trajectory, I wouldn't have fit for much longer.
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| I'm in 21B. You can send flowers to 21A & 21 C. |
When my wife travels with me, it's not a problem. As long as we're sitting together, she sits in the middle and I spill over into the window area or the aisle. Monday is going to be uncomfortable. I can't imagine the people sitting next to me are going to have much sympathy if I were to explain to them that I'm trying not to be a fat-ass. I'll just have to put a couple good movies on my tablet and try to ignore the embarrassment.
When you can't (or barely) fit in the seat, the seat belt is another problem. There's the fear and anxiety that you're going to have to press the call button and ask for an extender. So far, I haven't reached that level, but I swear every time I go on a plane, I think that they might shorten the belts to save a buck. The extender isn't the only problem. When you hit the seat's upper (outer?) limits, you have to plan carefully how you sit, lest you sit on the belt. Airplanes are so full of shame - and
jive-talking grandmothers.
*
Shit, she's dead.
International is the worst. I was mortified when I realized I couldn't use the tray. I had to juggle my meal and drink. The sad look on the flight attendants' faces put me over the edge. Couldn't help but sit and cry.
ReplyDeleteThe seat-back trays are bad, but try using the trays that are in the seat dividers. That'll make you insane.
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